Sunday, August 30, 2009

lost & found.

im speechless. im barely breathing.
im holding my breath now.
waiting for those words i wanna hear.
waiting patiently for the day you feel the same.
slowly losing hope.
& just when im about to give up,
just when i think that maybe im in this alone.
you come shining through finding your way,
like a rainbow reaching its pot of gold,
straight into my heart.
you finally say those word i wanna hear. . .

i love you, you whispered.

& in this moment all that mattered was that
i had you, & you had me.
we had found each other.

so when i woke up this morning & i realized,
how i can't see myself with anyone but you.
don't you dare let me go.
i love you.

Monday, August 24, 2009


his music inspires me.

"Love is permanent, not temporary
And it's driven straight into our chest
And buried much too deep."

wait for it.

When you find love throughout your life, in the moment, you don't realize that you find many different types. You find first loves, loves that make you crazy, loves that are a lie, & loves that are just too complicated. But there's one love that you should hold out for. The kind of love that makes you want to work harder at creating a better you. The kind that when you realize you have it, you just don't wanna let it go. Because if you do you'll never find one quite like it. & that kind of love only comes around once in a lifetime. yes, you may find something similar later on in your life but you'll never feel the connection you feel with this one person. A connection that leads you to believe that what you feel for this person is love. A love that makes you feel like anythings possible. Nothing can come between you & this person. Its a breathtaking, overwhelming feeling of happiness. The kind that you'll do just about anything to keep with you at all times. The kind that makes you feel like you just won an Olympic medal or the Nobel prize. Its probably the most heart-stirring experience that one can go through, and something you'll always remember & never regret.

So my advice?
hold out for it
because you deserve the best
& its out there.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


everyday is a new day.
a fresh start.
everyday there's a new addition added to your past,
everyday there's a new present;
& everyday there's a new future building.

everyday you make me laugh
everyday you make me smile
everyday you make me happy

& today i realized that
i could use someone like that everyday,
someone just like you.

-- correction: you.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

just for entertainment.

How fast does your mood change?
Are you thinking of someone now?
oh yeah
How often do you tell people you're ok when you're really not?
Why do you think so many people cheat on their bf/gf?
Is it hard for you to get over someone?
depends how much I care about them
Were you happy when you woke up today?
oh yeaaaahh (:
Do you miss the way things used to be?
no way; everything's better now
Where is your phone?
over there.
Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Where did you get your shirt?
a store.
Did you ever love someone that treated you badly?
Are you happy with your life right now?
you have no idea <3
Do you think you're a good person?
Could you last in a relationship for over a year?
been there.
Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
maybe dreaming lol (:
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Do you miss anyone?
Do you believe in true love?
of course.
Is there someone that you can't get out of your head right now?
Juan Canizares <3
Have you ever laughed at something that wasn't meant to be funny?
Are you a happy person?
Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
oh yes i do (:
You ever slept on a couch with that person?
Is there someone you want to fight?
Where do you wanna live when you grow up?
by the water.
Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
Would you date someone three years older than you?
Would you get married if you could right now?
too young.
Is there someone you'll never forget?
of course.
Do you consider yourself spoiled?
Would you ever take someone back after they cheated on you?
did it once. doubt I'll do it again.
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
all day every day<3

Monday, August 17, 2009

pulling away.

its frustrating when you care about someone so damn much
& the hardest thing for you to do is to express to them how much you care.
This person makes you feel like nothing can happen to you.
Like you'd never get hurt, & yet something inside you is pulling away.
not letting the words come out of your mouth, no matter how hard you try.
its like your blaming this person for something they didn't do.
its not fair & you know it, but there's something pulling away.
It just hurts knowing that you'd be risking something all over again.
trying to find a way around it, but it just keeps pulling away.
Knowing how much of an accomplishment it would be to just say
whatever it is that you feel, just saying words that mean so much;
but something keeps pulling away. . .

but one day, i know that one day all of this will change.

--crosses fingers.*

Special freakin' K

So i started my diet today,
& trust me its taking some getting used to.


one of a kind.

beach getaway this weekend was by far the best.

next chapter of my life?

its called Juan Alberto Canizares (:

- he's one of a kind.



we made an awesome M&M cake (:
my sister, my wife & i ;
are some very awesome bakers!

it was delicious!

baby steps.

one very fun-filled, exciting, awesome-est weekend in a while.

things in my life are progressing, & everything that's still not complete,
will soon be okay. Because according to "Cruel Summer"
(written by Alyson Noel), everything will be fine.
And things will always change for the better.
---even if it does put you through your worst nightmare;
in the end there's a prize that you receive.

"the trick is to learn to see with your heart, not with your eyes."

& even though i went through a lot lately,
im glad im finally being rewarded with the love from my family,
the bestest best friend a girl could ask for & this amazing guy,
who teaches me everyday to let down my walls & trust in people more & more. steps.

Friday, August 14, 2009

a god-given face.

tonight I'll miss you.
I'll miss your arms surrounding mine.
miss your kisses so divine.
miss your eyes set on mine.
miss the little faces you put for everything we talk about.
I'll miss that damn smile;
the one next to the two little dimples that drive me wild.
But out of everything,
I'll miss my two favorite freckles.
the ones that when i see them,
they remind me that im in debt with god.
for giving me such a beautiful person to share
life's breathtaking moments with.
its undeniable;
tonight I'll miss you.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


so i took a quiz on facebook & heres what it said my weakness is:


You are often loved because of your outgoing and fun personality, and you like to give hugs and flirt, but underneath of it all you are lacking heart. You find it hard to love others through all the walls you've built around your heart from being hurt so much throughout life, but you want to love, you desperately want that fun, romance that you see in others, but you don't know if you can have it in your current circumstances. You want stability, but at the same time you need change. You go from one extreme to another and often feel overwhelmed when you can't figure out something. You think about your life often and how you can improve your character. You find it hard to settle, but you really want to. You just feel like you need to find that balance, that heart that you've been missing for so long. You need to love through the pain, but it's so hard. But the walls need to crumble for you to truly be YOU.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Do we really expect that everything will just fall into place?
Everything will just magically find it's way?
Love will knock on your door?
it doesn't work that way.
Our choices also contribute to our fate.
you need to make it happen.


& do something.


early morning, i wake up. Replaying stolen pieces of last night in my mind. Remembering how amazingly satisfying it felt laying beside you. Thinking how one person can make you feel like the whole world is standing still on the other side of the door. Like nothing else matters in this moment, but you and me. It feels like an unbreakable union between two souls, feeling complete with one another. Nothing can amount to this feeling, & nothing will ever be stronger than the bond that is formed by love.

Saturday, August 8, 2009


With the wind in my hair and the sun in my face, I just keep thinking of you. Thinking of all the things that we could be, should be. All of the things that make me believe that you've got a part of me. You swept me off my feet & I really don't mind. Wont you come lay with me? I've got some time. I've been thinking about the short time that we've been together & all of the emotions that we're going through is so much to handle; but completely worth the final outcome. & that is to be with you. that's all i want.

Friday, August 7, 2009

not just a name.

There's a name that lives forever in my heart. A name that no matter how close or far away, its always a part of me. Always there when i need it. Always there to keep me sane. Always there to help me get through the toughest of my days. & always there to laugh with me through the funnest days. No matter what happens, this name cannot be erased. Its engraved in the deepest part of my heart. She has me like no one else. Shes more than anyone can ever ask for, my other half, my best friend, my sister. Her name is Victoria Saavedra. & she'll always have me.

iloveyou, with all my heart.

i'll be here forever.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

crossing paths.

In life you have one chance at every decision you make. One time to decide whether or not your making the right choice. One choice that can lead to a million other paths. One path that can change your life. One life is what we get. my opinion? Live it up; cause no matter what happens, you'll always look back & never regret a thing you did. & that's life, making decisions & choosing paths. & no matter which one you choose, they are always our choices.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

standing on the edge.

my heads in the clouds & it doesn't wanna come back down. Your everything that I've been waiting for, everything I've been holding out for. Even after every person that promised to be around lately, none of them convinced me as much as you. You've got me wrapped up in your world. Convinced that you want me around & that I need you around just to call me beautiful everyday, to have someone believe in me so much, its scary. Your not perfect & you have a past but you definitely have a future with me.

my definition of trust.

trust: having faith in someone.

feeling like this couldn't be better. feeling like its too good to be true. & yet you continue to surprise me. Knowing that i can actually trust someone and have them trust me. I believe that trust can completely change the way a relationship works. scratch that--- if there is trust the relationship works, if not then why even bother with it.